Smith: “We meet all our goals”
South African cricket captain, Graeme Smith, says that he is proud of his team and the manner in which they choked again during the ICC Champions Trophy being held in South Africa.
“You have to say that we are up there with the world’s best chokers, if not the best,” a beaming Smith said of his team’s early exit at the hands of a very ordinary English team.
“We can certainly be mentioned in the same breath as The All Blacks, St George, Greg Norman, Jana Novotna and Jean Van de Velde. We have kept -up the proteas proud tradition of choking when it counts, and in fact bettered it by losing to England.”
South Africa very nearly didn’t choke in the 1999 Cricket World when they drew with eventual champions Australia in the semi Final. Chief choker on the day, veteran speedster Alan Donald, would later say
“I thought about running but decided to choke instead.”
Thursday, 1 October 2009
Friday, 11 September 2009
Eduardo : My Idol
Young British diving sensation Tom Daley has revealed in an interview that his idol is Arsenal and Croatia striker Eduardo. Tom, 14, who shot to fame with a stunning diving display to win gold at the recent FINA world champs in Rome, said ‘Arsenal has always been my team, but now I absolutely love them. Eduardo inspires me to get out of bed everyday to practise, so that I too, can become the complete diver’
Daley’s father, who is also his coach, added ‘Eduardo shows the technique of a pure genius, we will be watching him closely this season for some tips to ensure Tom stays at the top of the diving game’
Daley’s father, who is also his coach, added ‘Eduardo shows the technique of a pure genius, we will be watching him closely this season for some tips to ensure Tom stays at the top of the diving game’
Monday, 7 September 2009
Motor Sports
F1 race takes place ‘somewhere or other’
Unconfirmed rumours are emerging that a Formula 1 motor vehicle race took place “somewhere or other” over the past week.
At this stage it is uncertain where exactly in the world the “race” took, or even if it did in fact take place, but reports suggest that motor vehicles were driven round and round a track and that someone or other “won the race.”
At this stage there are no confirmed overtaking manoeuvres or fatalities.
One man who could shed some light on the story is suspected F1 driver, Mark Webber, denies any knowledge of the race, or even how to drive.
“I was at home last weekend when this so called race occurred, my wife will confirm. In fact I was mowing the lawn until my Red Bull mower broke down five meters from the end.”
Unconfirmed rumours are emerging that a Formula 1 motor vehicle race took place “somewhere or other” over the past week.
At this stage it is uncertain where exactly in the world the “race” took, or even if it did in fact take place, but reports suggest that motor vehicles were driven round and round a track and that someone or other “won the race.”
At this stage there are no confirmed overtaking manoeuvres or fatalities.
One man who could shed some light on the story is suspected F1 driver, Mark Webber, denies any knowledge of the race, or even how to drive.
“I was at home last weekend when this so called race occurred, my wife will confirm. In fact I was mowing the lawn until my Red Bull mower broke down five meters from the end.”
Thursday, 3 September 2009
Irish International Opens Footie Academy
Irish International and Manchester United stalwart John O Shea has set up a football academy for kids that never get picked at school five-a-sides. At the opening O Shea stated “I’ve set this up for the kids that look up to me. I’m a role model for these kids. I’ve sat on the bench at the biggest club in the world and continue to do so and I am happy, hopefully this academy shows these kids happiness can be found on the bench”
At the star studded opening O Shea was joined by football pal and bench sitter Ade Akinbiyi. Ade profoundly claimed “There is an art to sitting on the bench. You have to sit for 90mins every Saturday and look interested. That’s why John earns the big squids, I’m in awe of him myself, and hopefully it’ll rub off on the kids”
Chubby five year Charlie Wilson was ecstatic to earn his place at the academy. Charlie speaking through his West Ham Fan Dad Charlie Snr Stated “I’m well up for this, I’ve always known I’ve had talent, thank you Jon, you alright.”
O Sheas’ manager Sir Alex Ferguson quipped “I’m fully behind this academy. Jon has shown that there is a great deal of skill needed for sitting on the bench. In fact Jon’s seat is the only seat that doesn’t have a cushion at the old Trafford dugout; this shows the character of the player.”
At the star studded opening O Shea was joined by football pal and bench sitter Ade Akinbiyi. Ade profoundly claimed “There is an art to sitting on the bench. You have to sit for 90mins every Saturday and look interested. That’s why John earns the big squids, I’m in awe of him myself, and hopefully it’ll rub off on the kids”
Chubby five year Charlie Wilson was ecstatic to earn his place at the academy. Charlie speaking through his West Ham Fan Dad Charlie Snr Stated “I’m well up for this, I’ve always known I’ve had talent, thank you Jon, you alright.”
O Sheas’ manager Sir Alex Ferguson quipped “I’m fully behind this academy. Jon has shown that there is a great deal of skill needed for sitting on the bench. In fact Jon’s seat is the only seat that doesn’t have a cushion at the old Trafford dugout; this shows the character of the player.”
Wednesday, 2 September 2009
Rapper to coach in the Premier League ?
According to reports surfacing from the UK the US rapper Eminem is in line to replace the first manager sacked this season in the Premier League. The hardcore no holds barred rapper responded “This would be an awesome gig for me. I’ve seen the premier league and the war of words that goes on between the managers. Sure I don’t know anything about Soccer but what I’ve seen it’s not about the game, it’s the after game press reports where the game is really won. Alex Feguson can burn in hell and Wegner and F#%& Off”
Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson, in-line to be Eminem’s Number 2 added his views, “I’ll crush anybody in our way, I’ve been shot nine times, I’m sure I could destroy Mr Wegner and Ferguson.”
Former England International and part time rapper Ian Wright welcomed the idea “ These two lads have been on top of there game for along time now, they have taken on and defeated everybody in music circles, the premier managers would be nothing for them. I would come out of retirement to do a record with them”
No word yet on who the duo would sign but Fiddy did state “I like the look of that Davenport lad at West Ham, he is hardcore”
Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson, in-line to be Eminem’s Number 2 added his views, “I’ll crush anybody in our way, I’ve been shot nine times, I’m sure I could destroy Mr Wegner and Ferguson.”
Former England International and part time rapper Ian Wright welcomed the idea “ These two lads have been on top of there game for along time now, they have taken on and defeated everybody in music circles, the premier managers would be nothing for them. I would come out of retirement to do a record with them”
No word yet on who the duo would sign but Fiddy did state “I like the look of that Davenport lad at West Ham, he is hardcore”
Tuesday, 1 September 2009
Rugby League: Chris Brown begins new career
Chris Brown to play for the Melbourne Storm
Convicted domestic abuser and sometime R&B musician, Chris Brown, yesterday signed to play in Australia’s National Rugby League (NRL) competition with the Melbourne Storm.
While wearing the clubs famous purple jersey and posing next to fellow suspected domestic abuser and club star, Greg Inglis, Brown said:
“My music career is over because I horrifically assaulted my partner. However, that opened the door to play Rugby League. In Rugby League, domestic and sexual abuse are a part and parcel of the game, like tackling, scoring tries or binge drinking. I feel accepted already.”
Brown, who has never even seen a game of Rugby League, but was a noted schoolboy Basketballer, brings with a wealth of abuse experience.
“Read the police report and tell me I’m not suited for this game. Go on...fuckin read it or I’ll kill you bitches!!!???” He ranted while beating down on a journalist.
Storm CEO, Brian Waldron, welcomed Brown to the club saying:
“He raises the profile worldwide. He’ll put bums on seats and partners in hospital, and that is what this game is all about. We’re more than prepared to look the other way.”
Convicted domestic abuser and sometime R&B musician, Chris Brown, yesterday signed to play in Australia’s National Rugby League (NRL) competition with the Melbourne Storm.
While wearing the clubs famous purple jersey and posing next to fellow suspected domestic abuser and club star, Greg Inglis, Brown said:
“My music career is over because I horrifically assaulted my partner. However, that opened the door to play Rugby League. In Rugby League, domestic and sexual abuse are a part and parcel of the game, like tackling, scoring tries or binge drinking. I feel accepted already.”
Brown, who has never even seen a game of Rugby League, but was a noted schoolboy Basketballer, brings with a wealth of abuse experience.
“Read the police report and tell me I’m not suited for this game. Go on...fuckin read it or I’ll kill you bitches!!!???” He ranted while beating down on a journalist.
Storm CEO, Brian Waldron, welcomed Brown to the club saying:
“He raises the profile worldwide. He’ll put bums on seats and partners in hospital, and that is what this game is all about. We’re more than prepared to look the other way.”
Monday, 31 August 2009
Habana On The Move !
Bryan Habana has signed for Western Province in a move that has sent shockwaves through South African rugby circles. The speedster has bucked the trend of Boks who have signed for lucrative deals at overseas clubs. Province coach Rassie Erasmus states “We could have spent the money on youth development, but we decided to pump all our money into a deal for Habana”.
CEO of Western Province Stoffiel Van Makersville added “We have had success in the past in signing established stars, do you remember when we signed Small, Muir, Skinstad and Stransky from the Sharks. Yes it’s correct we never won anything, but I urge you to look at who are the real winners.
On his move Habana blasted “ It aint about the money, I’ve been a world cup winner, two times super 14 winner, Currie Cup winner and Tri-Nations winner, I now want to feel what it is like to be a loser. When you are a loser you find out what type of character you really are”
CEO of Western Province Stoffiel Van Makersville added “We have had success in the past in signing established stars, do you remember when we signed Small, Muir, Skinstad and Stransky from the Sharks. Yes it’s correct we never won anything, but I urge you to look at who are the real winners.
On his move Habana blasted “ It aint about the money, I’ve been a world cup winner, two times super 14 winner, Currie Cup winner and Tri-Nations winner, I now want to feel what it is like to be a loser. When you are a loser you find out what type of character you really are”
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