Rugby Union: Tri Nations Special

The Wallabies Give Up

In a move that will come as no surprise to Rugby Union fans, the Wallabies have decided to call it a day.

“I wish to announce that the Wallabies are no more,” said ARU President John O’Neil. “The players and I have decided that we’re tired of losing to the All Blacks and Springboks, and so we’re just going to quit.”

NZRU Chairman John Sturgeon welcomed the decision saying:

“We put a pretty bloody ordinary team on the paddock the other night, and were utter crap, but still managed to beat the convicts on their home turf. They’re doing the right thing, rather now than a loss to England at home.”

SARU President Oregan Hoskins agreed, but added, “What we’ll miss most about Australian Rugby is their fair assessment and unbiased commentary during the game. I mean, who’s going to tell how boring we are as we beat them by 15 points or more now? We’ll also sorely lament the passing of their illegal scrimmaging technique.”

Wallaby captain, George Smith, said it was a sad day but that “we should have chucked it in after the World Cup.”

Meanwhile the search is on for a replacement for the Wallabies in the Tri-Nations. Both Hoskins and Sturgeon have mooted the idea of an idol type contest involving the singling and Rugby talents of a number of smaller nations. Hoskins shopped short of agreeing to a swimwear component however.