Cricket: KP under the microscope

Kevin Pieterson to be gender tested

The ICC yesterday declared their intention to conduct a gender test on England star Kevin Pieterson.

ICC Chairperson David Morgan said, “We have had our doubts for a long time. Now is the time to act. His voice is too high pitched, his earring too feminine and his hair appears overly luxurious and bouncy. One would not want to cast aspersions but he is certainly less masculine than that South African 800m runner, Castor Semanya.”

An outraged Pieterson responded by threatening to plonk his balls on Morgan’s desk. He also threatened to “pull his hair and scratch him vigorously,” and if the test is not abandoned, “write bitchy comments of his Facebook and MySpace pages.”

Meanwhile, in a twist on the Castor Semanya case, the South African athlete has apparently plonked her balls on the desk of IAAF Chairperson Lamine Diack, and told him to “stick his medal up his arse.”

The enquiry into her gender continues in earnest.